The Shoulder Angel Assignment

In which we make believe super awesome people believe in us. 

Elie Wiesel. Nobel Peace Laureate. Renowned author and humanitarian. Holocaust survivor.

Queen Latifah . . . Yeah. Queen Latifah.

What do these two people have in common? Answer. They're my shoulder angels!

Sometimes we just can't do it on our own. And friends are great, but sometimes we need a mentor. Someone wise and tough who can knock some sense into us while providing that life-saving kind of comfort. Well, we've said goodbye to our parents, older relatives and beloved teachers. So who's going to play Obi-Wan to our Luke?

When I feel the need for a caring, firm voice to motivate me to be a grown up,  I imagine my shoulder angels giving me a pep talk. When I can't get out of bed in the morning . . .

Me: Nope, goin' back to sleep . . .
Q.L.: Baby, get yo ass out of bed and do somethin' with your life! C'mon, I'm not gonna wait forever.
Me: But Queen Latifah, I'm so tired----
E.W.: Each day is a gift. Doing nothing in the face of so much beauty and so much pain would be a crime, my friend.
Q.L: Mmmmm-hmmmmm.

Or when I get all worked up over school . . .

Me: Guys, I can't do this. I ruin everything! I fail at life.
E.W.: No one is a failure who loves.
Q.L.: That's just crazy. Girl, you expect me to feel sorry for you? Snap out of it! Go make it happen, Baby.

Because we feed ourselves negative messages all the time, sometimes we need to hear the good stuff in another person's voice. A voice we trust and admire.

But here's the thing. As fun as it is to imagine your own personal shoulder angels, you need real live mentors too. You need grown ups. And man, have I missed them in college.

Since I've been on my own, away from the constant love and simple presence of my family, I've craved mentors, mothers and life coaches like never before. Part of your quest when you arrive on campus your first year is to create a support system for yourself---don't underestimate the importance of finding awesome old(ish) people. You might find your Dumbledore in a professor you like or someone at your job or the parent of a kid you babysit. Or you might find them in a completely unexpected way. Get to know the other adults in your life that you might not immediately think of as mentors---my friends and I have found surrogate parents and grandparents in our librarians, dorm housekeepers and dining hall chefs.

The key is to share yourself. This is not, "My professor is very prestigious therefore I will now attempt to ask an intelligent question so as to impress them." This is more like, "What a funny guy! I think I'll go tell him I liked his lecture." Or, "Neuroscience is awesome! I'll go ask my professor what classes she would recommend!" Wear your heart on your sleeve when you're first getting to know your target real-life shoulder angel. Don't invent reasons to talk to awesome grown ups. But don't make excuses NOT to talk them when you really want to.

As for grown ups you're meeting outside the classroom, ask people's names and then hang around long enough to have a real conversation. And when you see them the next time, have another real conversation. It's that simple, my ninjas.

Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end, you'll see.

So, I have two questions for you: Who would you pick for your imaginary shoulder angels if you could have anyone in the fictional or non-fictional universe? And who are your real life shoulder angels? Send me a top secret transmission below (i.e. comment)! Feel free to use code names to protect your identities (oh, you know you want to).