The Zen Master Method

When you feel incapable of dealing with the situation at hand, pretend you are someone who can handle it. 

Imagine you’re sitting in your room and you experience the figurative bomb drop. Maybe you open your email and find a message from your angry professor about skipping that volunteer thing you signed up for. Maybe you can’t find your roommate’s most precious possession that you borrowed without asking the night before. Or perhaps your poor planning has ended up threatening the grades of the other people working on your group project. A missed exam, a tiny lie that grew—whatever the problem, it sounds small, feels big and it’s All. Your. Fault.

My next few communications with you will deal with the procedure for handling your mistakes. Consider this the first step of your assignment.

So you’ve screwed up. And you’re stomach has dropped into your shoes and proceeded to twist around in an approximation of the Devil’s Tongue knot. What do you do next?

Answer: channel a Zen Master. There are many to choose from but here are a few suggestions:

At some point all of these people (fictional or otherwise) screwed something up. Big time. So ask yourself, what would, say, Gandalf, do if he were in your place? Would he panic and say, "I suck, I'm the worst, why can't I do anything right?" No, he'd say something like, "I have made a grave error and I alone must bear the burden of making things right again in the world *sad eye twinkle*." Try telling yourself something like that instead. 

“But how do I channel the Zen Master?” you might ask. Well, first, take a deep breath and set a serene expression on your face. Second, find an epic theme song.

As your theme music plays, open a document on your computer (Aunt Francie) or find a handy post-it note (Mom), and write, “Operation [Insert desperate problem here]”. The key is to pretend that you are the Zen Master. Let the calm and wisdom of years of keeping peace in Middle Earth or imparting soulful advice wash over you. And so you make your plan, brainstorming possible solutions, noting things you will absolutely NOT do and planning some steps for taking action. 

But wait, wait, there’s a catch. You have to do this immediately after discovering the problem. Do not, I repeat, do NOT, bury yourself under your covers or turn on your favorite television show in an attempt to escape the dread creeping up on you. Make your plan first. Trust me, you will feel so much better.

The Zen Master Method can be extended beyond mistakes and applied to any task that feels daunting or overwhelming. Sometimes in college I find myself faced with problems I don't know how to solve or situations when making a mistake lets people down and messes up stuff I care about. While pretending to be a more capable human (or wizard) can't take you all the way to a solution, I've found it to be a useful exercise thats calms me down and helps me remember that it's all going to be all right. Nothing is hopeless. There is always something I can do to make amends or take a step in the right direction. You just have to think like a Zen Master and make a plan. Take it from one of my mom's favorite musicals, The King and I: Make believe you're brave and the truth will take you far. You may be as brave as you make believe you are. Lalalala LA lalalalala, etc. 

My next post will attempt to assist you with the actual planning of your Operation. In the meantime, channel the master of your choice and become who you were born to be.